


All Fool's Day

by AzureSummoner



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: April Fools' Day, F/M, Idiots in Love, Mild Sexual Content, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sexual Roleplay, Silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:07:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23438200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzureSummoner/pseuds/AzureSummoner
Summary: Hades gets blocked.
Relationships: Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch & Hythlodaeus, Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch/Original Character(s), Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch/Warrior of Light
Comments: 13
Kudos: 63





	All Fool's Day

**Author's Note:**

> Happy April Fool's Day! This is just something quick and silly.

"I'm having second thoughts about this," Persephone mumbles, fidgeting with the hem of her blouse. 

"That's the first symptom," Hades clucks. "Lack of clarity."

"It is not!"

"Need I remind you who is the medicus here? I did not spend decades of my life at the Akadaemia to have some flower maiden tell me how to do my job. Now tell me what ails you."

"I have a fever," Persephone whines. "And a headache."

"I see. Well, let's check your temperature." Hades parts the woman's untied blouse to cup a breast in either hand, gently massaging the soft flesh. "Hmm."

"How can you read my temperature like that?" she asks, her delicate brows furrowing. "Wouldn't an oral check make more sense?"

"Oh, _fine_." Hades leans in and shoves his tongue into her mouth before she can bite off another criticism of his medical practice. 

"Mmph!"

He's thorough, drinking deep of her little sighs. The moment she tries to push back, however, he pulls away and leaves her wanting. 

"You _are_ a touch warm. Nothing a little bedrest won't cure."

"Does that mean we can do it now?"

Hades stares at Persephone, flabbergasted. "And here I thought that _I_ was terrible at this game. What possessed you to present the idea if you're unwilling to suspend your disbelief a little?"

"Well I was talking with Igeyorhm and--"

Hades groans and slaps a hand to his forehead dramatically. " _Please_ tell me that you're not sharing details of our sordid affairs with that gossip."

"What? No! She just happened to bring it up as something that might be fun to try."

"Please don't ever listen to that woman again."

"Alright! Medicus not so good. Let's try another one. Professor and student? Wait, do you think she and Laha--"

"Don't you _dare_ bring that name into this bedroom."

"Ok, ok!" Persephone glances over the small list on the bedside table. "How about… You're a respected botanist that I've asked to tend my garden?"

"You don't say," Hades laughs. "Shall I plow your fields while I'm at it, my dear? Sow some seeds?"

"Ohh, Hades! _Now_ who isn't taking this seriously?"

"Yes, yes. Calm down. Here, I'll try one. You're a wicked enchantress come to cast a spell on me."

"Oh! I cast fire!" Persephone wiggles her fingers with excitement while plastering on a most devious smile. 

" _Fire_. Not… hypnosis, or a love potion, or--"

"It… burns off your clothes?"

Hades sighs in disgust. "Alright, let's try _again_. I've fired Hythlodaeus and brought you in as my lovely assistant. Oh my. I seem to have dropped my pencil under the desk. Be a dear?"

"Oh, Hades," Seph giggles, "you want me on my knees?" She's halfway there when she gets a silly little grin. "Do you ask Hyth to pick up your pencils, too?"

Hades throws up his hands in frustration. "Wonderful! Just the image I wanted as you're about to go down on me."

"S-sorry!! It was kind of funny…" Hades gives her _a look_. "O-ok um, you're Emet-Selch and I'm your assistant and you're using your power of office to seduce me!"

"My… power as Emet-Selch."

Persephone nods.

"As the _Architect_ . Sure, why not." Hades rolls his eyes. "Shall I show you how tall my tower can become? Or how I _erect_ the great buildings of Amaurot?"

"Hades! You're a sorceror, can't you--" Seph waves her hands around, "cast some magic or something?"

"Oh, of course. I cast _fire_."

He grins, seeing that his beloved is nearly at her breaking point. "Still intent on playing this game, darling?"

"Not if you won't take it seriously!"

"Says the woman who set me on fire for receiving a sloppy yawn from the Chief of the Bureau."

"It was funny! Like you wouldn't make a joke about me."

"Actually no, I wouldn't," Hades replies with a huff. He folds his arms over his chest and glances aside, a light stain in his cheeks. Well, there's his jealousy rearing its head. 

"Ok, I get it. I'm sorry." Leaning in, Persephone rests her hand against Hades's jaw and tilts his face toward her. She presses their lips together, soft and sweet, and feels his ice begin to melt as he responds to her touch. 

"One last try?" she murmurs. "For real this time. You and I are members of the Convocation together, and we're trying to seduce one another into bonding."

Oh no. Hades's face erupts in crimson as Persephone smiles so adoringly at him, _how could she know_ ?? He had been planning the moment to ask her so _carefully_ and now--now he realizes what a fool he is. His lovely intended is ready to go, but now his nerves are shot. There's no way that he could… not in this emotional state…

"S-Seph, I… I'm…" It's embarrassing to admit. She looks worried. 

"Was it… I-I guess I came on pretty strong with that one," she mumbles, casting her eyes down. Has he sent the wrong impression? Does she think he's rejecting the idea that they would--

"Seph," Hades pleads gently, pulling her into his embrace. "I just… I can't pretend about something like that," he confesses. The words are difficult to come by, so he lets his aether say the rest. A comforting reassurance that he wouldn't have anyone else. It seems to convey his intentions as Persephone relaxes and looks at him again. 

"How about this?" Hades decides. "I'm your possessive lover who has tricked you into moving in, and now won't ever let you go?"

"Hmm, can I be possessive back?"

"Not that I would complain, but you'll need to stop setting me up with other people if I'm to take it seriously."

"Right, I get it." Persephone flashes a devilish grin and leers, as best as she can at least, at her snowy haired beau. "You're _mine_ , Hades."

He grins back as she forces him down into a kiss.

\---------------------

"So are you going to tell me how you got that?" Hythlodaeus motions toward the purplish bruise on Hades's cheek. "Don't tell me that Seph is beating you up now?" He ignores the sour look he gets in response. 

With just the two of them in the office there's no need for masks, and it's far more comfortable besides. 

"She hit me."

"Excuse me?" Hyth parks up as if someone has dumped ice water down his back. 

"Not intentionally. She tried to kiss me and nailed me with her forehead."

Hades regrets the admission as Hyth bursts into howling laughter. "Oh dear! That's a bit much. I never intended to--"

Uh oh. Hades is glaring now. "What did you do?"

"Do you not pay attention, man? Yesterday was All Fool's Day! I thought it rather odd that _you_ of all people hadn't pranked me, but to think that you _forgot_ \--"

"Did you cast a spell on me??"

"Come now! Me??" Hyth shrugs and smiles. "Just a mild concept to muddle your day a bit. No harm done, right? Aside from the bruise."

Hades is not amused, and it shows. 

"Didn't uh… didn't have much _luck_ last night, I take it… What are you doing?"

Hythlodaeus backs away at the reddish aether gathering in Hades's palm, the glow of it shadowing his friend's face menacingly. 

"Hades??"

The sorceror laughs darkly. 

"I cast fire."

**Author's Note:**

> If you are a writer and/or enjoy FFXIV fics, come join a very friendly and enabling group: https://discord.gg/ftFnYbe
> 
> Find me on Twitter: @AzureSummoner


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